What if…

What if I became “realistic” and lowered my standards

gave up all hope of having the love I’ve always wanted

dreamed less and settled more

never left words unsaid and addressed more

issues that always left me clutching my pillows tight at night

and in my head I’m screaming “I wish I had”

What if

What if my belly didn’t hang so loose

In fact what if it didn’t hang at all

and this body was thinner or an hourglass shape

or whatever your definition of beauty is

and what if

what if instead of flabby arms and love handles

I had guns and a side like B. Knowles

Would you proudly call me friend, lover, daughter

then?

What if the problem was you

What if your perception of beauty is twisted

and society found it’s way and twisted your mind

so you can no longer think for yourself

What if?

What if I wasn’t so different and didn’t think too much

or talked too much on the things I thought too much about

and what if I desired all the things girls my age desired

or are supposed to, in any case

What if I gave in

was a cheap thrill and all the boys knew me

Would that leave me with less lonely nights

wishing there was one beside me whom I could hold

or would that leave me with one beside me

who has had his way with me and I..

well I can’t do with him what I really want to do

which his hold him and have him hold me

so close that we immerse ourselves in each other

until somehow we lose ourselves in one another

with our heartbeats becoming one and the same

What if

What if it doesn’t end here

this instant, on this page, in this room

what if I walk out and keep thinking what if

and life passes me by still thinking what if

What if

What if there’s no such thing as life passing me by

because as long as I am here, alive and breathing

then I am living life

and how could it pass me by

I am living it, aren’t I?